The Whipped Cream Incident – Fact or Fiction?

Back when my husband and I were dating, probably around age 17 or so, we would often get a bite of something takeout to eat before driving off on an adventure.  On one particular evening, we stopped at a now defunct Mexican restaurant for some fried ice cream.  This wasn’t unusual, because at the time it was one of my favorite desserts and I often had a craving for it.

Unfortunately, this particular treat was covered with the most vile whipped cream.  For whatever reason, while stopped at a red light, I made the unwise decision to open the passenger door and spit out the offensive white fluff.

No harm, no foul, or so I thought.  While still stopped, I heard cheering and applause.  To my surprise, behind us was a pickup truck filled with guys.  Being naive, I didn’t understand the accolades at first.  My date politely suggested that I consider the visual of my actions.  My surprise turned to sheer horror.  Even if it’s a cliché, if it were possible to die of embarrassment, that would have been my last night alive.  You just can’t make this stuff up, or did I?

The Ecstasy of Irony

I love irony.  It flies under the radar until it’s discovered, then it practically slaps you in the face.  There are times when it makes you laugh out loud when you know you shouldn’t.  For instance, I was watching the evening news cover a funeral, when a song called “This is It” (the theme for a magazine-type show that followed the news) was clearly played over the audio of the story.  Even the anchors had difficulty maintaining their composure as they recognized the error.

The other day I was stopped at a red light and observed a white van in the lane next to me.  It was a commercial vehicle for a dry cleaning company.  What stood out to me was the Bible verse in large letters across the vehicle’s back doors.  I didn’t read the verse, but I glanced long enough to know what it was.  The irony of this was apparent to me but most likely to no one else.  I usually cruise to work with some sort of hard rock/heavy metal blasting, that works well in conjunction with caffeine to get my morning started.  On this particular day, my iPod shuffled Wednesday 13’s “Pieces of You,” a delightful religious song about mutilation and dismemberment.  I could only guess what the driver of the van must have thought. Perhaps he was praying for my soul, or praying he could get away from the source of the devil music as quickly as possible.  It could have been worse, the iPod could have  played other equally religious songs from the same artist such as “God is a Lie” or “Faith in the Devil.”  I couldn’t help but sit in traffic with a ridiculous smile plastered on my face.  My smile  widened and my good humor  intensified when I realized we were stopped outside of a church.  How could you not love irony?

Land That I Love

My thoughts and prayers go out to those affected by yesterday’s tragedy in Boston.  A cowardly act was committed when someone planted two bombs that exploded at the Boston Marathon, causing fatalities and multiple injuries.  We do not yet know who is responsible for such devastation, but I believe one day the perpetrator(s) will be uncovered.  If it turns out to be a home-grown attack, then those individuals are no longer Americans.  In fact, they are American’ts, and should suffer the worst punishment allowable by law.  God Bless Boston.  God Bless America.

A Tale of Two Jasons

Today as we celebrate the birth of one Jason Voorhees (Kane Hodder), we mourn the passing of another (Richard Brooker).  Richard was the first Jason to don the infamous hockey mask in Friday the 13th Part III, and Kane is the most identified with the character, having portrayed him in Friday the 13th 7-10.  Happy Birthday Kane, and rest in peace Richard.

Kane Hodder

Kane Hodder

Richard Brooker

Richard Brooker

They’re Here, So Let’s Go–The Scariest Movie of All Time

As much as I enjoy a good horror movie with blood, guts and gratuitous sex, supernatural films really freak me out.   I can handle strange people and their even stranger families, but introduce a supernatural element and I won’t be sleeping that night, or venturing into my basement for that matter.

That being said, in my opinion, the scariest movie of all time as of this writing is Poltergeist.  I know the majority of horror film buffs would choose The Exorcist, but Poltergeist parallels my own life to some degree.

When the original film was released in 1982, I was only 2 years older than its child star, the late Heather O’Rourke.   If all these awful things could happen to my peer Carol Anne, why not me?  As a kid, that’s a frightening prospect.

Carol Anne’s brother Robbie had an encounter with a hungry tree in the movie.  Outside my bedroom window, all the way in the back of the yard, stood a tree that looked like it had a face on its trunk.  The tree was creepy before I saw Poltergeist, seeing the movie did nothing to alleviate the general unease I felt toward it.  In fact, I grew to dislike that particular tree even more.

Poor Robbie was also attacked by a clown in his room, and I had such a clown in my own room as well.  Clowns are not something that normally bother me, but if they’re trying to drag you under your bed, that’s another issue entirely.

Lastly, my neighbor’s house was huge, it had been converted from a funeral home.  It also had an in-ground swimming pool.  The Freelings had a pool filled with corpses at the film’s conclusion.  If I remember correctly the home was built on a graveyard, where the head stones were removed but not the bodies.

To this day, a fuzzy television bothers me. It’s not enough to simply turn the volume down and wait for the picture to reappear, I have to turn the set off and keep checking back on the picture.

Poltergeist may not be everyone’s choice for the scariest movie, but until I get possessed and spew pea soup, I can relate to Carol Anne much more than Regan.