Size Matters

It’s too big.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but it’s too much for little me to handle.  It’s not too thick, but when I sheath it, it’s a tight fit.  Put your dirty mind aside, I am referring to my 17” laptop.

I bought this computer to better spend time with my family, instead of spending too many hours isolated in the second floor computer room with the desktop PC.  It worked well for that purpose, but now that I have need to take it out of the house, its size is cumbersome, and at times is embarrassing.

I can’t lug it anywhere in style.  There are no cute accessories for laptops of this size.  I finally found a pink sleeve on Amazon to fit it, but it is so large that it resembles a pillowcase.  When the computer is squeezed in its sleeve, it barely fits in my hideous, thick messenger bag touted as holding most 17” laptops.  (I guess the designer never saw my HP behemoth).  The good news is with all the compartments the bag holds a lot of stuff in addition to the computer, but the bad news is it’s very ugly and huge on my petite frame.

When I do manage to wrestle it out the door (it actually has a nick in the case from contact with the door frame), it is often the biggest computer wherever I go.  Sometimes I feel it may as well be a typewriter that I carry.  Not only does it occupy too much table space, it’s a challenge to see people across the table when it’s in use.

Despite my complaints, my laptop does what I need it to do without any problems, so I can’t justify a new purchase.  Of course, should it succumb to an “accidental” death involving liquid or a fall, its case will barely be cold before I am in the market for a smaller, sexier number with cute accessories.  I shouldn’t speak ill of my computer, it did allow me to type this blog.  Did the screen just flicker?  Can it understand the words that I typed?  Oh no . . . . . . .

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Last Saturday night my husband and I raised our first tall Starbucks hot chocolates of the season in toast to a wonderful Halloween 2013.  There was a chill in the night air, forcing me to don my Philadelphia Flyers jacket, its orange, black, and white not only representative of the team, but also of Halloween and autumn.  My favorite Finnish monster band, Lordi, was playing through the truck’s speakers.  My costumed men (and lady) remind me of this time of year, and it’s not only because they dress like otherworldly creatures and play heavy metal/hard rock.  A local haunted attraction plays one of their songs for the guests waiting in line.  When we got home, the smell of the neighbor’s fire pit permeated the air.

Fall is my favorite season, even though I prefer the temperatures as warm as possible.  Still, I look forward to chilly days and cozy nights.  I love the scents of fall–vanilla, cinnamon and pumpkin, to name a few.  The house smells festive courtesy of Yankee Candle, and I always pay Bath and Body Works a visit to stock up on their autumn sprays and lotions.

Nothing brings me more joy than spending a cold night enjoying a good book while cuddling with my husband and assorted fur kids under warm blankets.  If it’s cold enough for a fire in the fireplace, that’s even better.

October is my favorite month because Halloween is my favorite holiday, and my birthday is the 20th.  Every weekend of the month is spent at one Halloween attraction or another.  While people tend to be sad when New Year’s is over and the traditional holiday season has ended, I find myself depressed on November 1.  While I will miss the Halloween music and the decorations, I know they will all be back next year.  Until that time, I will be happy for this time, when the 2013 season is just beginning.

The Love of Beasts Soothes the Savage Beast

When the silver Ford Focus cut me off when I clearly had the right of way, I admit I had some nasty thoughts toward the driver.   I imagined mechanical arms sprouting from my truck’s doors picking up the offending vehicle and shaking it before tossing it out of my way.  I was about to press the invisible button to activate my invention, when I spotted a magnetic support ribbon on the Ford’s rear end.  Adopt a pet.  Ugh.  As an animal lover, I had to give the person credit.  They may be a cruddy driver, but they have adopted a homeless pet.  For now the little Ford has escaped my wrath, who knew the magnet was as powerful as a PBA card to a (road) raging animal lover.

Words With Enemies

Some words are fun to share with friends, others only make enemies.  Certain “new” words get under my skin in a big way.  The fact that some of them have been added to the dictionary amazes me.  Clearly there are people who do not share my feelings.

I think it started with celebrity couples and their combined names.  Annoying examples of this include Bennifer (Ben Affleck/Jennifer Lopez) and Tomkat (Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes).  Not only are combined names sickeningly sweet, neither of these couples exists today.  Maybe that says something about the idiotic practice of combined names, just don’t do it.

I really could do without anything that goes “viral” or is “trending.”  Viral has a negative connotation, so I will just avoid it.  Is there a vaccine to prevent infection of anything that goes viral?  Also, if someone has to tell me what’s trending, I’m not trendy enough to know in the first place.

I recently learned what “twerk” meant.  Apparently it’s dirty dancing for 2013.  Miley Cyrus thought she made history by twerking on MTV’s Video Music Awards.  Her performance was far from shocking or original.

If you wander into someone else’s photograph and become immortalized digitally or on film, that is known as a “photobomb.”  “Photobomb” existed long before a name was given to it.

Currently the word that bugs me the most is “selfie.”  I cringe at the number of people taking photos of themselves in mirrors, clutching their iPhone as if it were a bottle of water in the desert.  I can’t help myself; I want to punch those people.  If they are making a “duck face” they should be punched twice for that infraction alone.

Speaking of iPhone, “i” anything is annoying.  I want to slap you upside your iHead with your iProduct.  I have nothing against Apple products or anyone who uses them, heck, I have an iPod.  The “i” prefix just drives me up the iWall.

Of course, “blog ” is a most wonderful word, is it not?

What words make you crazy and why?