Spring Has Sprung

SpringWord

It’s officially spring in New Jersey, according to the calendar anyway. It’s too bad Mother Nature didn’t get the memo. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a switch you could throw to change seasons? We were treated to snow and a freezing rain mix to usher in spring. It didn’t last long, the climate warm enough to melt the mess fast, and everyone hoped that was winter’s last blast.

My favorite part of spring is the daylight lasting longer. Nothing is more depressing than leaving work at 5:00 p.m. in total darkness. Now it’s sunny when I leave, which leads to renewed energy for other things when I get home. I no longer want to go straight to bed and hibernate, the evening a total loss at 6:00 p.m. when I get home.

More daylight will lead to warmer temperatures. The winter wardrobe, consisting of sweaters for work and sweatshirts for play, will give way to short sleeves and capri pants. I’m looking forward to leaving the house sans heavy coat and winter accessories, no additional gear necessary.

The candles in the house can be changed from Christmas scents to smells of the great outdoors. Somehow they’re still appropriate even in the summer with the house closed up and the air conditioning running. I’ve swapped out Mistletoe and Christmas Cookie for Dune Grass and Meadow Mist. It feels like it’s been a long time coming.

The decorations on the front of the house can also be revamped. Gone are the plastic poinsettias and gold ornaments in the window boxes on the next nice day. Flags promising better days ahead will be a pleasant break from grinning snowmen welcoming winter.

Spring also means the dining room table’s theme can be changed. A table cover in a light color will brighten the dark room. Even though we don’t often utilize the table for meals, knowing it is appropriately adorned is a pick me up.

Since Easter is a week away, I will forego dragging the decorations out of the basement. I’ve just been too busy to worry about it. We have a live bunny who is part of the family, so I think we have the holiday covered year round.

Rambo

Rambo

What’s not so great about spring? The cleaning. I tell myself I’m in between mansions, so why bother. What do you enjoy the most about springtime?

Two Little Pigs

As long as I am physically able to care for them, I think I will always have pocket pets. I currently have a French Lop bunny named Rambo, and in the last two weeks I have acquired two guinea pigs (also known as cavies).

Piggies make fun pets. I was first introduced to them by way of my third grade classroom pet. A brown Abyssinian pig, Whiskers was well loved by everyone. Abyssinians have rosettes all over their bodies, giving them a perpetual bad hair day. I brought him home over summer breaks until one day my teacher said I could keep him. I was thrilled. Whiskers lived to age eight, which is geriatric for a guinea pig.

An example of an Abyssinian

An example of an Abyssinian

At some point after Whiskers passed, I acquired a pig named Lucy. She was a sweet piggy, and one day I discovered another piggy mysteriously appeared in her cage. The baby was a female, so we kept her and named her Suzy.

The sad fact about guinea pigs is that they don’t live long, the average life span is around four years old. That’s why I gave up on guinea pigs and switched to rabbits. Bunnies can live upwards of 10 years, which is far less depressing.

I had two piggies recently, both passing before last Christmas. My last guinea pig Bob lived to four, and I miss him. He lived in our basement and would greet me whenever I went downstairs. Guinea pigs are cute, friendly, and entertaining. They make some interesting sounds compared to silent bunnies. My guys already know the sound of the rustling of the plastic bag containing their parsley.

Cavies are social animals who do best in pairs. Meet Bert and Ernie, our cute little brothers. They are best friends, they snuggle together and enjoy each other’s company. Welcome to our zoo, kids!

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Bert and Ernie

Trash TV and Me

What’s the best thing about sick or snow days? The best of the worst television shows are on all day. I plant myself on the couch or in bed, flip to one of my favorite stations, and settle in for mindless entertainment. Aside from the stellar programming, each commercial suggests that you are a deadbeat if you happen to be home during the day. Every ad is for either a school, a way to get cash, or solicitations for a lawsuit. Have you or someone you love died or been injured by (insert procedure or medication here).

My day begins with Cheaters, currently hosted by Clark Gable, grandson of that Clark Gable. Before him the show was helmed by Joey Greco, and before him, my favorite, Tommy Grand. The premise is simple and entertaining. The host brings the client to confront their cheating partner, who is always caught with another person. Uncensored episodes can be found on DVD, and they are worth the price. So I hear.

cheaters

My guilty pleasure is The Jerry Springer Show. I can’t get enough of the circus and fights. I love the fights. The security guards are easy on the eyes. I want to be a guest for no other reason than to have a scrap with someone to have a member of security pull me off, preferably Jason.

jerry

You can count on Maury Povich to have paternity tests galore on his show. I think the most guys I ever saw one girl test at one time were six. I prefer to call these episodes, “You Might be a Ho if You Don’t Know.” You may be doing too many paternity shows when the audience wears “I’m not the father” tee shirts to the tapings. It might be time to switch topics.

Steve Wilkos was a security guard for Jerry Springer before he got his own show. His program seems to focus on alleged injustices to children. Sometimes chairs are thrown, but Steve will always tell someone to, “Get the hell off my stage.”

I wish daytime television were switched with evening programming. There are only two sitcoms I watch weekly, The Goldbergs and The Big Bang Theory. I’m a morning person and can’t stay awake to see most decent TV shows. Also, if I miss an episode of something and don’t watch the DVR before the next episode airs, I will just drop the show.

bbt

As much as I won’t binge watch a “normal” program, I can watch hours of what I call “disaster coverage.” If there’s a news event with endless reporting, I am all over it. Plane crashes, jury verdicts, celebrity deaths, and anything of that ilk will keep me glued to the TV for hours.

I also enjoy Hoarders and Intervention, but why is the former always on during dinner? It can be gross at times. I am obsessed with prison shows and I can watch marathons of Lockup and all its variations including Raw, Extended Stay, and Abroad. I also love Cops, Jail, and Campus PD.

cops

Of course, I wouldn’t watch those so-called reality shows that are on in the evening. That would be ridiculous. What guilty pleasures do you watch?