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Trash TV and Me

What’s the best thing about sick or snow days? The best of the worst television shows are on all day. I plant myself on the couch or in bed, flip to one of my favorite stations, and settle in for mindless entertainment. Aside from the stellar programming, each commercial suggests that you are a deadbeat if you happen to be home during the day. Every ad is for either a school, a way to get cash, or solicitations for a lawsuit. Have you or someone you love died or been injured by (insert procedure or medication here).

My day begins with Cheaters, currently hosted by Clark Gable, grandson of that Clark Gable. Before him the show was helmed by Joey Greco, and before him, my favorite, Tommy Grand. The premise is simple and entertaining. The host brings the client to confront their cheating partner, who is always caught with another person. Uncensored episodes can be found on DVD, and they are worth the price. So I hear.

cheaters

My guilty pleasure is The Jerry Springer Show. I can’t get enough of the circus and fights. I love the fights. The security guards are easy on the eyes. I want to be a guest for no other reason than to have a scrap with someone to have a member of security pull me off, preferably Jason.

jerry

You can count on Maury Povich to have paternity tests galore on his show. I think the most guys I ever saw one girl test at one time were six. I prefer to call these episodes, “You Might be a Ho if You Don’t Know.” You may be doing too many paternity shows when the audience wears “I’m not the father” tee shirts to the tapings. It might be time to switch topics.

Steve Wilkos was a security guard for Jerry Springer before he got his own show. His program seems to focus on alleged injustices to children. Sometimes chairs are thrown, but Steve will always tell someone to, “Get the hell off my stage.”

I wish daytime television were switched with evening programming. There are only two sitcoms I watch weekly, The Goldbergs and The Big Bang Theory. I’m a morning person and can’t stay awake to see most decent TV shows. Also, if I miss an episode of something and don’t watch the DVR before the next episode airs, I will just drop the show.

bbt

As much as I won’t binge watch a “normal” program, I can watch hours of what I call “disaster coverage.” If there’s a news event with endless reporting, I am all over it. Plane crashes, jury verdicts, celebrity deaths, and anything of that ilk will keep me glued to the TV for hours.

I also enjoy Hoarders and Intervention, but why is the former always on during dinner? It can be gross at times. I am obsessed with prison shows and I can watch marathons of Lockup and all its variations including Raw, Extended Stay, and Abroad. I also love Cops, Jail, and Campus PD.

cops

Of course, I wouldn’t watch those so-called reality shows that are on in the evening. That would be ridiculous. What guilty pleasures do you watch?

4 thoughts on “Trash TV and Me

  1. Fun read. Big Bang is one of my favorites too. I watch Two Broke Girls because I like the friendship between the very different characters and the underdog situation there.

  2. you know cheaters is fake, right? they’re all actors. you can tell for two reasons. first, in scenes shot during daytime, there are always long shadows on the streets even though the “cheaters” are out having lunch together. this is to get maximum horizontal daylight, which prevents harsh facial shadows, but it’s also to avoid too many pedestrians and cars on the streets and sidewalks. so couples are out having lunch at 7am. second, the “cheating” half of the couple, if it were real, would never allow his or her face to be shown on television. you’ll notice bystanders are often blocked out because they did not sign a release. but you can be sure that those who were caught cheating would not sign a release, and that means their faces couldn’t be shown on tv. just thought i’d pass that along. have a great day.

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